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Bill Cunningham |
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Shiro Ono |
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Gunther Holtorf |
Showing posts with label strangers. Show all posts
Showing posts with label strangers. Show all posts
September 12, 2012
June 5, 2012
I need them to see
I had to walk to 8th avenue again. The D was running on the A track again. The rain stopped, and I also stopped to take a deep breath, filling my lungs with my favorite aroma. I love the after rain smell, the smell of the rain hitting the dry pavement.
I hung up on Francis, ending our long conversation that should be saved for the road trip. Topics like loneliness and memories shouldn't be discussed at 2 in the morning with 952 miles between us.
Once I wobbled down the stairway towards the turnstile, the D train arrived. I can't believe this normal occurrence made me so happy. The D train arrives all the time, but the fact that it came right as I entered the station makes me believe in miracles. It won't take me an hour to get home tonight.
There was a young man, I presume in his late twenties, tall, dirty blond curly hair. He reminded me of a skinnier Seth Rogen. From the corner of my eye, it looked like he was tying his shoes, or putting on his shoes. I stared ahead, and there were three other people, sleeping. I liked how they were all evenly spaced apart. I walked past the man fiddling with his shoe and sat three seats away from him. I had to make sure I was keeping with the trend of keeping a good space between me and the next passenger.
I took out my Trader Joe's bag of onion chips. I forgot to take my thirty minute break at work. I really was enjoying them until I saw the man with the shoes walking towards me. I kept munching, this time aggressively, with chips falling on my lap. I was trying to scare him off.
"Where did you get your glasses?"
Really, sir? At this time? "Korea," I said.
"I really like them. I ordered a pair like that online."
I kept eating.
"You know, I just googled the glasses place. It's probably from Korea. It looks a lot like yours."
The train was running local and I couldn't stand having a conversation with a stranger about glasses for the next thirty minutes. I stopped eating, placed the bag in my tote bag, and smiled.
"This is 59 street," said the conductor in a whisper.
"Well, you have a good night." The man with the shoes and new glasses walked away from me, toward the opened doors.
October 24, 2011
Lessons from a stranger
What goes around comes around Hey girl, is he everything you wanted in a man, something something hand. I wonder if he knew about this song? And he's right. It's similar to the treat others as you would want to be treated. If you get mad when someone cuts you off, you shouldn't be doing that to others. Believe in karma.
The answer "no" makes me want it more Okay, this does not pertain to abuse or any forced sexual encounter. But I told him about how difficult it was to get a part time job. For him, when someone tells him no, it drives him further to get that yes. He tells me of when he had to do cold calls everyday to advertise his business, and out of the twenty calls, only one or two people said yes. It didn't matter how many people rejected him. The few that accepted him made it all worth it.
Finish what you started That's what she said! I just ruined that joke, didn't I? When he said this, he was referring to relationships, specifically for men. For example, if you buy flowers for your girl every week, or call to say good night before bed, you can't stop doing that. Yes, you did all this to lure her in your special web, but you have to keep going even after you've got the girl. Finish what you started. Once you stop, she will notice and assume something is wrong. So advice for ya'll would be to not even start.
Men are dogs, women are cats Dogs chase cats, cats do not chase dogs. For some reason, women love the chase, and they love a man who will fight for them.
Make it happen but do it legally. If you want something, you have to make that happen.
When you have children, you have to give them the best even if that means giving it up for adoption because you don't have the means to take care of the child. In the end, you'll be happy and that child will be happy if he/she is raised in the right household. You can reconnect later, and if he/she does not want to connect with you, it is fine. No matter what, when you have a child, you have to reassure that they will be taken care of in every aspect. Be sure that you are ready to have kids because it is the biggest responsibility you'll ever have.
Don't be intimidated by anyone, we are all human This was geared towards men being intimidated by strong powerful women. Who cares if she is a doctor, or president of a country, she is still a woman and she has needs and wants a man. Her career, or anyone's career/education/financial status should not be a main focus in picking a mate. If I connect with you, that is all that matters. In the end, we are all equal, all human beings with similar needs.
You have to make yourself happy because your partner can never do that for you. They can add more happiness to your life, but they can not make you happy. And if they do make you happy, it will only be temporary. If this is the case, you need to get out of the relationship until you are happy with yourself. Don't expect someone else to fulfill that.
If you want to make money, focus on senior citizens (baby boomers) or generation y because the U.S. population is getting older and kids like us will always want the latest technology (this includes social media)
Don't stress over what you cannot control There is no need. You are wasting your energy over something that is out of your hands. No matter how much you stress, it will or will not happen. If are in a control of a situation, make sure you prepare and do what you can for the best results. If you have no control, let it go. What will happen will happen. Stop worrying.
The answer "no" makes me want it more Okay, this does not pertain to abuse or any forced sexual encounter. But I told him about how difficult it was to get a part time job. For him, when someone tells him no, it drives him further to get that yes. He tells me of when he had to do cold calls everyday to advertise his business, and out of the twenty calls, only one or two people said yes. It didn't matter how many people rejected him. The few that accepted him made it all worth it.
Finish what you started That's what she said! I just ruined that joke, didn't I? When he said this, he was referring to relationships, specifically for men. For example, if you buy flowers for your girl every week, or call to say good night before bed, you can't stop doing that. Yes, you did all this to lure her in your special web, but you have to keep going even after you've got the girl. Finish what you started. Once you stop, she will notice and assume something is wrong. So advice for ya'll would be to not even start.
Men are dogs, women are cats Dogs chase cats, cats do not chase dogs. For some reason, women love the chase, and they love a man who will fight for them.
Make it happen but do it legally. If you want something, you have to make that happen.
When you have children, you have to give them the best even if that means giving it up for adoption because you don't have the means to take care of the child. In the end, you'll be happy and that child will be happy if he/she is raised in the right household. You can reconnect later, and if he/she does not want to connect with you, it is fine. No matter what, when you have a child, you have to reassure that they will be taken care of in every aspect. Be sure that you are ready to have kids because it is the biggest responsibility you'll ever have.
Don't be intimidated by anyone, we are all human This was geared towards men being intimidated by strong powerful women. Who cares if she is a doctor, or president of a country, she is still a woman and she has needs and wants a man. Her career, or anyone's career/education/financial status should not be a main focus in picking a mate. If I connect with you, that is all that matters. In the end, we are all equal, all human beings with similar needs.
You have to make yourself happy because your partner can never do that for you. They can add more happiness to your life, but they can not make you happy. And if they do make you happy, it will only be temporary. If this is the case, you need to get out of the relationship until you are happy with yourself. Don't expect someone else to fulfill that.
If you want to make money, focus on senior citizens (baby boomers) or generation y because the U.S. population is getting older and kids like us will always want the latest technology (this includes social media)
Don't stress over what you cannot control There is no need. You are wasting your energy over something that is out of your hands. No matter how much you stress, it will or will not happen. If are in a control of a situation, make sure you prepare and do what you can for the best results. If you have no control, let it go. What will happen will happen. Stop worrying.
September 29, 2011
My best conversations are with strangers
In the past two weeks, my best conversations have been with strangers. During the off hours of my yard sale, I chatted with a man in crutches who happened to stop by because he was taking his weekly stroll to Main street. We jabbered on about the sport of fishing and renovations going on in Alhambra. Everything boiled down to the simple answer "It's the bad economy." A few hours before, Mohommad came by again looking for a water boiler, the one that whistles when its ready. He had stopped by earlier that morning to pick up five dollar speakers (my dad had them in the garage for 10 years). I forgot what we talked about, but it felt like I've known him for years. But out of all the conversations I've had with these new faces, my 5 minute meeting regarding vinyl application printing turned 2 hour meeting about the idiosyncrasies of life with the Femi is my favorite.
"Hi, are you Sami?" I asked the man at the front desk. "Ah, yes it's Femi," he responded with a huge smile. I loved his Nigerian accent. I showed him the samples we wanted for him to print, and he laughed the whole time because I really was very ignorant about the printing process. "That," he pointed to a poster of three dogs' butts in bikinis, "that was a strange project. These customers invented diapers for dogs. I tell you, Americans love their pets! Where I come from, he feed them and had them to eat the bugs around the house, but we don't sleep with them. If you want to make money, work in a business with pets!"
It's a great conversation when you can't pinpoint exactly how you got to the topic. We went from talking about dimensions and cost of the printing to talks about education, dating, life mantras, technology, tailoring, and many other topics. When I drove back, I kept trying to think how we even went off topic. Most conversations I have with vendors are direct Q and A's. How much will this cost? Do you know how long it will take? How long have you had this shop? With Femi, stories seem to sprout and we both were inspired by each other's recollections.
Femi was born in Nigeria and came to southern california when he was 24. He studied at Cal State Long beach and transferred to UCLA majoring in some type of Health field. I was surprised at how many things we had in common. He also worked in Alhambra for 10 years after he graduated. Well hello, I'm from there! At first, I thought he was just being a great businessman, telling me what I wanted to hear. If that was the case, he was a great businessman. I was reassured that he was simply conversing to converse when he mentioned the Chinese Islamic Restaurant on Garvey. How can anyone make that up? I've always driven by this restaurant called "Chinese Islamic Restaurant" and I couldn't understand how that worked. I didn't know Chinese people knew Islamic people even existed.
"My daughter lived in the dorms for one year and moved out because of me. All the friends she met there lived in mansions in Beverly Hills! I told her I couldn't go and buy her a new BMW. Meet new people!" His daughter, who is now 33 years old working with clinical social worker something (I'm not very good with medical professions) in Nevada. She's married to the greatest guy on Earth (he cooks, cleans, takes care of the baby, does chores, and anything you can think of that men never enjoy doing. And he does it without her nagging him. )
"Her boyfriend in college was a bad one. He had no job and no respect. He would drive her car, drop her off of school, and go somewhere. I said, if I'm paying for this car and the insurance and this kid is driving it, I will not allow that! I ask her, Honey why are you dating this guy, you deserve so much better." He looked at me and asked "How old are you?" His daughter was 24 when she finally broke it off - 6 long years.
"You are young. I learned that I couldn't tell her what to do. She will learn herself, from her own mistakes," he said expressively, his arms motioning towards his chest, "She did not listen to me. But I knew if I stopped nagging her, she will eventually learn on her own."
Femi began telling me about his first girlfriend, who he wanted to marry, but couldn't because of racial issues. He didn't want to be with a mother-in-law who disapproved of him because of his color. Now, at the age of 55 (I say add 5 more years because colored people age sp gracefully) he's living in Long Beach and his girlfriend lives in Cincinnati. He dreams of ending his career at the sign shop and wants to open an adult daycare center.
"People now are very selfish, that is why relationships don't last. You have to gain trust, and that takes time. Find someone who will be patient to grow with you. Be secure, independent. You both can have your own lives but don't be selfish. Give to give, not to expect something in return. All you want is love in return, right? What else do you need?"
He began to laugh when he gave an example of what he meant. "I love football, so I go to bars to watch it with other fans. She calls me on my phone, so I step outside to talk to her." He put his hands over his ears and speaks into it like a phone "I'm at the bar watching the game right now."
"See, instead of accepting it and asking me what I'm doing and how the game was, she told me to go back inside and to call her when he is done. So I call her later, but she was asleep because of the time difference." He began doing a texting with his hands, and with a laugh, said "And so I texted her "honey I'm sorry I called so late I will call you tomorrow!"
"You need to know how to live your own life. When your partner is gone, you don't need to talk to them every second and know exactly where they went, who they went with. You need to trust that they are living their life and you live yours. This trust, it does not start at the beginning. You gain it, and it takes years."
Maybe his wrinkles aren't apparent not only because he has great genes, but of his whimsical, some might even say illogical look at life. "Don't worry too much. What will happen will happen. I never stress because I know things will be good. Have faith, embrace the cultures of life, and form meaningful relationships."
My stomach began to growl and I realized lunchtime had passed an hour ago. A customer walked in, which was my cue to end my talks with Femi. I thanked him, grabbed the airplane acrylic models, and walked out the store. If it takes 2 hours to get a quote from Femi about a project, I'd go back and do it all over again.
"Hi, are you Sami?" I asked the man at the front desk. "Ah, yes it's Femi," he responded with a huge smile. I loved his Nigerian accent. I showed him the samples we wanted for him to print, and he laughed the whole time because I really was very ignorant about the printing process. "That," he pointed to a poster of three dogs' butts in bikinis, "that was a strange project. These customers invented diapers for dogs. I tell you, Americans love their pets! Where I come from, he feed them and had them to eat the bugs around the house, but we don't sleep with them. If you want to make money, work in a business with pets!"
It's a great conversation when you can't pinpoint exactly how you got to the topic. We went from talking about dimensions and cost of the printing to talks about education, dating, life mantras, technology, tailoring, and many other topics. When I drove back, I kept trying to think how we even went off topic. Most conversations I have with vendors are direct Q and A's. How much will this cost? Do you know how long it will take? How long have you had this shop? With Femi, stories seem to sprout and we both were inspired by each other's recollections.
Femi was born in Nigeria and came to southern california when he was 24. He studied at Cal State Long beach and transferred to UCLA majoring in some type of Health field. I was surprised at how many things we had in common. He also worked in Alhambra for 10 years after he graduated. Well hello, I'm from there! At first, I thought he was just being a great businessman, telling me what I wanted to hear. If that was the case, he was a great businessman. I was reassured that he was simply conversing to converse when he mentioned the Chinese Islamic Restaurant on Garvey. How can anyone make that up? I've always driven by this restaurant called "Chinese Islamic Restaurant" and I couldn't understand how that worked. I didn't know Chinese people knew Islamic people even existed.
"My daughter lived in the dorms for one year and moved out because of me. All the friends she met there lived in mansions in Beverly Hills! I told her I couldn't go and buy her a new BMW. Meet new people!" His daughter, who is now 33 years old working with clinical social worker something (I'm not very good with medical professions) in Nevada. She's married to the greatest guy on Earth (he cooks, cleans, takes care of the baby, does chores, and anything you can think of that men never enjoy doing. And he does it without her nagging him. )
"Her boyfriend in college was a bad one. He had no job and no respect. He would drive her car, drop her off of school, and go somewhere. I said, if I'm paying for this car and the insurance and this kid is driving it, I will not allow that! I ask her, Honey why are you dating this guy, you deserve so much better." He looked at me and asked "How old are you?" His daughter was 24 when she finally broke it off - 6 long years.
"You are young. I learned that I couldn't tell her what to do. She will learn herself, from her own mistakes," he said expressively, his arms motioning towards his chest, "She did not listen to me. But I knew if I stopped nagging her, she will eventually learn on her own."
Femi began telling me about his first girlfriend, who he wanted to marry, but couldn't because of racial issues. He didn't want to be with a mother-in-law who disapproved of him because of his color. Now, at the age of 55 (I say add 5 more years because colored people age sp gracefully) he's living in Long Beach and his girlfriend lives in Cincinnati. He dreams of ending his career at the sign shop and wants to open an adult daycare center.
"People now are very selfish, that is why relationships don't last. You have to gain trust, and that takes time. Find someone who will be patient to grow with you. Be secure, independent. You both can have your own lives but don't be selfish. Give to give, not to expect something in return. All you want is love in return, right? What else do you need?"
He began to laugh when he gave an example of what he meant. "I love football, so I go to bars to watch it with other fans. She calls me on my phone, so I step outside to talk to her." He put his hands over his ears and speaks into it like a phone "I'm at the bar watching the game right now."
"See, instead of accepting it and asking me what I'm doing and how the game was, she told me to go back inside and to call her when he is done. So I call her later, but she was asleep because of the time difference." He began doing a texting with his hands, and with a laugh, said "And so I texted her "honey I'm sorry I called so late I will call you tomorrow!"
"You need to know how to live your own life. When your partner is gone, you don't need to talk to them every second and know exactly where they went, who they went with. You need to trust that they are living their life and you live yours. This trust, it does not start at the beginning. You gain it, and it takes years."
Maybe his wrinkles aren't apparent not only because he has great genes, but of his whimsical, some might even say illogical look at life. "Don't worry too much. What will happen will happen. I never stress because I know things will be good. Have faith, embrace the cultures of life, and form meaningful relationships."
My stomach began to growl and I realized lunchtime had passed an hour ago. A customer walked in, which was my cue to end my talks with Femi. I thanked him, grabbed the airplane acrylic models, and walked out the store. If it takes 2 hours to get a quote from Femi about a project, I'd go back and do it all over again.
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