August 9, 2011

Let's Talk Toilet Seat Covers

Public restrooms are fine with me, but I fear for others. I fear for others who will share the restroom with me, at my time of NEED. But lucky for one of my co workers, she walked in at a good time. I was just changing.

And then a thought occurred to me. Once my butt cheeks kissed the toilet seat, the restroom door opened, then I heard foot steps, then the stall door opened next to me, then the sound of crumbling paper. Ahh, the toilet seat cover. I realized that I have not done that. It isn't intuitive for me to do so. Am I being a nasty girl? I sometimes don't wash my apples before I eat them. When cupcake crumbles fall on the table, I lick my index finger and dab the delicious pieces up and into my mouth. Heck, I can say that I don't shower daily (8 days was my limit, oh the Woodsey challenge). When I simply must go, I go. I'm not patient enough to find the thin opening and pull it away. It's almost like getting that one thin slice of rice paper from a family of rice papers for my Korean BBQ. I end up picking two pieces and they rip, making them useless for my wrap. The topic of food and lavatory always seem to go hand in hand during a conversation.  Anyways, after taking the toilet seat covers out, you then have to place them on the toilet seat, which I think needs to be done strategically. It has to be centered so it won't fall into the toilet. It's really disgusting. I'm imagining the minutiae of these private moments between you and your bowel movements in my head, and I feel awful for the toilet seat cover. Not only do they have to deal with our butts on their faces, they're the first to come in contact with the cumulation of your poor food intake. They begin their life neatly tucked in the container with their other look alike friends. When they are chosen, they feel joyous, free, for a second until they're forced to cohabit with a thermoplastic friend who doesn't like to travel. Once they become acquianted, a third party comes in, forcing a quick (hopefully) m
énage à trois of sorts. And how are they thanked? They're flushed down the toilet with the rest of them. The end.

Note though, I do use toilet seat covers, sparingly, when the restroom is disgusting. But if you're in a clean public restroom, like your work restroom, think about that. Think about the life of the toilet seat cover. Is it worth it? 

1 comment:

  1. :) I'd like to think toilet seat covers shouldn't be necessary. I haven't met a state that has more of them than CA though! NY and definitely around the world, covers are not the most common thing. Maybe we miss our targets more often?

    I always wipe down the seat real quick with TP before anything else.


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